Recovery From Divorce

Divorce. It’s not something you ever intend to hear, think, or experience.  However, here you are, thinking it will never happen to you but it has. You took your vows seriously and you were the best spouse you could be. You sacrificed, compromised, and loved the thought of doing life with someone. Unfortunately, I found myself having to make one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make: Ending my marriage.  

fought as hard as I could and gave every ounce of myself to my marriage. Although it was quite emotionally challenging at times, I relied on acknowledging my value, choosing myself, placing my faith in a higher power, and taking time to heal. Just know you don’t have to do this alone, and please don’t choose to. You can get through this! Let’s hop on the road of recovery as I share some effective insights on coping methods which helped me to recover from divorce. 

Acknowledge Your Value

Misplaced blame blurs your knowledge of self and your value. I asked myself, “Am I really a terrible person? Why aren’t I enough? Am I ugly? What am I doing wrong?”  Unknowingly, I was diminishing myself into feeling worthless. First, forgive yourself. Know you are valued and are truly worth more than what someone says or thinks of you. Take time to acknowledge your value and start loving yourself again. Just know you are ENOUGH. You are LOVED. You are BEAUTIFUL. You are WORTHY.

Choose Yourself 

Despite the self-help books and marriage counseling, my marriage did not improve. That is when I knew I had to choose myself. I chose myself over the infidelities. I chose myself over the countless lies and barrage of empty promises. I felt selfish for doing so, but I’m glad I did. Take time to truly think about yourself and your value. Don’t feel guilty about choosing yourself. What helped me the most was relying on my faith in a higher power. By doing so, it strengthened and helped me to choose myself. 

Place Your Faith in A Higher Power 

My trust and belief in a higher power pulled me into a place of peace and loving myself again. Please don’t feel you are alone. Placing your faith in a higher power can strengthen, guide, and transition you to a place of serenity and peace with yourself and your divorce. You’ll feel equipped to navigate through divorce and whatever else life throws your way. Faith in a higher power was pertinent to my healing process and can be in yours, too.  

Take Time to Heal 

The healing process is different for everyone and can be difficult at times, but there are various ways to heal. First, change your mindset. Choose to be restored and not bitter. Bitterness can do more damage than good in every relationship you have (i.e. familial, work, friends). Next, find something you truly enjoy doing such as a hobby or an activity.  For me, I rekindled my love for reading books, and I’m still going strong. Also, spend time with family and friendspractice self-care, and recite affirmations. These practices really helped me to heal and can be a great help for you as well. I would caution against choosing to distract yourself overtaking the time to heal. Although it is difficult, you must trust the process.  

Divorce is an emotionally baring process. It inflicts feelings of embarrassment, unworthiness, guilt, and shame. Don’t be embarrassed. Don’t be ashamed. Remember to forgive yourself. Take back your life and own it by acknowledging your value, choosing yourself, placing your faith in a higher power, and taking time to heal. You are truly worthy of unconditional love, unspeakable joy, and perpetual peace. Believe it, speak it, and live in it! 


About the Author: Theresa M. Bowman, MHA, MSL, is a Healthcare IT Consultant by day who enjoys uplifting others through blogging and podcasting her life experiences with faith-based principles via the Theezy’s Voyage Blog and Theezy Under Grace Podcast™.